


A Heart for Christmas

by hawaiigal52



Category: Ugly Betty
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-04 00:45:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawaiigal52/pseuds/hawaiigal52
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A/N: I wrote this story last year, both as part of an advent writer’s challenge in December for fan fiction, and mostly, as in tribute to my late husband, John, who’s birthday was on December 12th.  From all the moving around of my stories, and going from one computer to another, part of this story was lost. So I’ve used that as an opportunity to edit it and make a few changes. <br/>A warning to first-time readers; although it’s a Christmas story and essentially a love story, this also has a lot of angst. I took my idea for the plot from one of my all-time favorite movies, “Return to Me”, written and directed by Bonnie Hunt, one of the most underrated women in Hollywood, if you ask me. This film was a work of love for Bonnie and it’s worth a viewing. My little version of it here doesn’t nearly do it justice. For one thing, she and Jim Belushi are hilarious and manage to help make a very serious subject funny, something this story isn’t. Along with great performances by Minnie Driver, David Duchovney, Carroll O’Conner, Robert Loggia…I could go on and on, just put it on your list to check out! It’s funny, sweet, heartfelt and romantic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A Heart for Christmas

Chapter 1  
The Heart of Christmas  
The Heart of Christmas (by Matthew West) edited

I'm gonna make a wish this Christmas  
I'm gonna say a little prayer  
I'm gonna stop here for a moment  
Before the moment disappears

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricenter.com/e56540-matthew_west~the_heart_of_christmas_lyrics.html ]  
The world's in a hurry this December  
City streets and shopping malls  
I wish we could slow down and remember  
The meaning of it all

Let's make it feel the way it used to  
Let's find that wonder of a child  
You can see the magic all around you  
Come on, and open up your eyes

You can find it in the warm embrace of your family  
Or calling up a long lost friend  
You can even find it in the eyes of stranger  
When you reach out a helping hand

Wherever you are, no matter how far  
Come back to the heart, the heart of Christmas  
Live while you can, cherish the moment  
The ones that you love, make sure they know it  
Don't miss it, the heart of Christmas

Hilda’s wedding was over. Betty had never felt such a huge sense of accomplishment, of weight off her shoulders. She still could barely believe her sister was married, and as Hilda herself had noted, to her ‘best friend’. 

Betty couldn’t help but notice tonight how her best friend had been looking at her rather strangely, especially since Hilda’s toast.

As the music stopped, Daniel looked at Betty and smiled, touching her cheek, “Here’s looking at you, kid.”

She giggled, and she could have sworn she saw him grab his heart. Was the notorious bachelor actually falling for her? Was it possible? 

Daniel seemed a bit out of breath, so they sat one out. He held her hand and looked at her, “Betty, you know how much you mean to me, right?”

She didn’t know where he was going with this, exactly, but she couldn’t help but feel a little nervous at the way he was looking at her. “Sure, Daniel. You mean a lot to me, too.”

“Do I? Listen, I know you…well, how do I say this, exactly, I know what you must think of me, Betty. But there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a really long time, now. Something about me that you need to know. I think it may change your opinion of me. At least…I hope so.”

She leaned forward to listen, but just as she did, ‘their song’ came on and Betty smiled, looking at him, and stood up, holding out her hand, “Can you handle another dance? I believe their playing our song.”

He nodded, and stood up, leading her onto the dance floor. Although he seemed to be having a great time, and she knew he was trying to get the courage to talk to her about something, something important, Betty was afraid to hear whatever it was he wanted to tell her.

She thought of how much they had come to mean to one another. If he told her what she thought he might, would that change? Change was hard for Betty. She was scared. She didn’t want to take a chance on losing their friendship. 

Being Daniel’s friend was her touchstone. He meant so much to her. She wasn’t sure she was ready for change. Even if it could mean something wonderful, something incredible, something miraculous. 

As they laughed and talked, dancing half the night away, Betty could tell Daniel had decided she wasn’t ready to hear whatever it was he had been trying to tell her. He, too, seemed resigned to that and comfortable in their usual friendly banter. 

She saw her family, and commented how they no longer seemed to need her to ‘take care’ of them all the time. Daniel nodded, as he watched the generations of Betty’s family hugging and laughing, somewhat longingly. He smiled, squeezing her hand as they continued to dance, “It’s a great feeling, isn’t it? When everything’s right with the world?”

She smiled back at him, and leaned her head against his chest, feeling safe and warm in his arms. He was right, everything was right with the world right now. She was here, at her sister’s wedding to the man she loved. Her nephew had finally had the courage to come out and declare his love for Austen. 

Her father was healthy and happy, with Elena here by his side. And most of all, she was in Daniel’s arms. Daniel, her best friend. Daniel, the man she…cared about more than anyone. 

As she felt his heart beating slightly faster, and saw he was sweating, she looked up, but suddenly, her smile turned to concern, seeing his face, looking pale and ashen.

“Betty… I lo…” He collapsed on the dance floor and her world suddenly collapsed with him.


	2. Chapter 2: The Thing is…..I Heart You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know this is not your typical ‘love story’, but I think it serves a higher purpose, and if you hold on, I promise, it gets much easier to read…not so much drama after this! Well, okay, there's still some drama, but it DOES have a happy ending, at least!

After a number of hours, and mind-numbing cautions concerning his appearance from the hospital staff, Claire managed to convince them that Betty was engaged to Daniel so she would be allowed to see him.  
She followed Claire into his room, only to be overwhelmed by the many machines hooked up to him. She didn’t remember seeing so many when her father had his heart attack.   
But, then again, her father’s family didn’t own a fourth of the hospital, she thought, grimly. Besides, she was in such shock at the time, perhaps she just hadn’t noticed.  
She saw a blue flash and could tell he was regaining consciousness. She hurried to try and find a place on his hand unencumbered enough for her to hold. She fought hard to hold back the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her. She had to be strong. She had done this at a much younger age when visiting her mother, she recalled.   
She could be tough, now, with Daniel, too; make him smile. Let him see she wasn’t as upset as she really was. He had to see she was hopeful, so he would be, she thought, frantically.  
“Hey, there. You know, Daniel, you could have just told me you didn’t want to dance with me anymore. You didn’t have to go through all this to get out of one more dance!”  
She saw the hint of a smile, which gave her some hope that he was at least hearing and understanding her. He asked for water and the nurse helped him sit up better, giving it to him. His eyes opened more fully, though he still looked somewhat drugged.   
Betty watched as he turned his hand over to face his palm up, indicating he wanted her to put her hand in his. She had to really hold back the tears now, but she gingerly placed her hand on top of his palm.  
She could feel how cold his flesh was and she had to fight back the instinct to withdraw her hand at first, placing her fingers softly on his palm. He managed to stroke his thumb back and forth across the top of her hand.   
She smiled at him and again, she saw the corners of his mouth curl upwards in an attempt to smile. He coughed, and the nurse held his back, then helped him sit up even more, when he indicated that’s what he wanted.  
Claire had been watching, but she came to the foot of the bed and softly told Betty, “I think I’m going to go in the lounge and take a nap, dear. Have someone wake me if there’s any change. I’ll let you two have some time alone.”  
Betty nodded, then turned back to Daniel, who seemed to be trying to speak. She leaned forward, straining to hear him, and laughed softly when she made out what he was saying, “We’re engaged, huh?”  
She smiled, looking around, to see the nurse on duty had gone to check on something and except for the machines, they were alone. She shrugged, “It was the only way they’d let me see you.   
So, your mom told them I was your fiancé. Apparently they don’t think best friends warrant the same kind of preferential treatment. Sorry. I hope it’s okay that she said that?”  
He nodded, “Sure. Have Mom talk to Nigel, though. You need a ring.” He spoke slowly and his voice was more raspy and softer than usual, but it was Daniel. Betty was relieved just to hear him speak.   
It wasn’t much, but it was something. After thinking she would never hear his voice again, never see his beautiful eyes again, never hold his hand again, it was a lot, in fact.   
She fought back the stinging tears that threatened to come flooding, and pulled away her hand from his for a second, while she pretended to yawn and stretch, rubbing the few tears from her eyes quickly so he wouldn’t notice.   
She blushed slightly at his ring comment, “Yeah, well, nobody’s been that observant, Daniel. I think it’s fine. As long as your mom vouched for me, you know?”  
He watched her closely, the smile now more evident, “Where’s my lap dance?”  
Her eyes widened, “WHAT? Daniel! What the heck are you talking about? In here?” She looked around, nervously.  
He tried to laugh, but held it back, when it almost turned to coughing, and after a few minutes, she understood him, “Bobby got one for HIS bachelor party, he told me.”  
She nodded in understanding, then grinned, putting her hand back on top of his, “We’ll see. You have to get a lot better, first, though.”  
She tried to change the subject, chatting on endlessly about the wedding, about Justin, about Hilda and Bobby’s honeymoon, about Elena, about everything except the elephant in the room. Finally, he shook his head slightly, “You don’t have to say it, Betty. I know.”  
“Know what?” She blinked heavily.  
“I’m dying.”  
She didn’t have a reply. She wanted to say something to re-assure him, to give him hope, but it was impossible, considering she had so little herself right now.   
She, Betty Suarez, was finding herself unable to give Daniel the pep talk he desperately needed right now, because her vessel was completely empty. She had nothing to give him in the way of encouragement.   
Except, perhaps, the truth… she thought, suddenly. The truth will set you free.   
She may not ever see him again, ever get this opportunity. She had to fight back her fears, and let go with what she had finally figured out, what she knew to be the absolute truth, and pray it might give him some hope; something to hold onto.   
She held his hand a bit more firmly, getting him to look at her, his eyes seemed fully open and aware that she had something important to tell him, so he watched her carefully, expectantly.  
She started, “Daniel, I…there’s something I’ve been hoping, praying I would get the chance to tell you. You know, last night was a big night for Justin. He came and talked to me before he asked Austin to dance. I knew he wanted to come out, but part of him was still scared.   
I told him he had nothing to be afraid of and that we all loved him and were proud of him. He knew he was safe, but Austin’s mom wasn’t that supportive, so I guess that made him hesitate.   
But, remember, I told you before, how he stood up in front of his whole high school and gave his mother the ‘prom queen’ crown they were ignorant enough to give him?   
He took their ignorance and hate and turned it back around showing his mom how much he loved her. I have never been so proud of him! He’s an amazing kid. But he’s so much braver than I am. I…”   
She stopped, looking into his eyes that were on hers, seemingly trying to read her thoughts.  
“I have something I…. that I have to tell you. I don’t know how long I’ve felt this way really, but…I just need you to know…I love you. And I don’t mean, just as my friend. I’m in love with you, Daniel.”  
He raised an eyebrow, then tilted his head slightly, “You tell me this, NOW, Betty? When I can’t do anything about it?” his raspy voice got his usual low timbre at the end, making her heart skip a beat with something she hadn’t felt before.  
She shrugged, “I don’t expect you to do anything about it, Daniel. I just needed you to know.”  
“Before I die, you mean.” He said, somewhat resignedly, withdrawing his hand from under hers.  
She pulled it back, gently, leaning across the bed, “NO, no, that’s not what this is, Daniel. I don’t WANT you to….go. I need you to know I love you and that I want you to have hope, to fight, to want to get better.”  
“Then somebody else is going to die, instead, Betty.”  
“What?”  
“You know that, as well as I do. I’m sure they told you. I need a new heart. They can’t fix mine. For me to live, I need a transplant. If I live, somebody else dies. I don’t want that. Why would I deserve to live and they have to die? It’s not fair.”  
“Daniel…I understand what you’re saying. But you can’t think of it that way. It’s more like…recycling.”  
He raised an eyebrow, “I’m dying to hear where you’re going with this, Betty.” He smiled at her, devilishly.  
“Funny, smart-alec. What I mean is the person whose heart you would get is someone who is already dying themselves, well, almost technically dead, you know? They wouldn’t live anyway, so their healthy heart would just go to waste.”  
He smiled, slightly, “So, I’m just doing my part for the environment, re-using their heart, huh? Reduce, re-use, recycle?” God, he loved this woman. She really did brighten his life like sunshine, even if it did sound corny, he knew it was true.  
She nodded, “Exactly!” She stood up and went to his head, fluffing his pillows, then, started to go and sit back down where she had been before, but he grabbed her hand on his shoulder, just as he had the night his father died.  
They were quiet for a few moments, both apparently remembering that night. He looked over to her, “The night my dad died, I chickened out and didn’t get to tell him I loved him. So, I get you feeling like you had to tell me, before it’s too late. I love you, too, Betty. Very much.”  
She pulled away slightly and walked back down to his side, sitting in the chair pulled up to his bedside, and shaking her head.  
He was amused, seeing her acting almost angry with him, “This wasn’t some deathbed confession neither of us is going to have to think about later, Daniel. I told you how I feel, because I want you to know, I’m going to do whatever I can to make you happy. But that requires you getting better.   
I don’t want you telling me things you don’t mean, just because you think you’re dying and won’t have to honor any commitments. If you tell me you love me, you’d better be prepared to be around to live up to that, mister!”   
He looked surprised for a second, then smiled, looking at her determined face, “Is this my pep talk? Man up and have the will to live, Daniel? Fine, come here, give me your hand.” He seemed to have regained some strength of spirit, at least, but was still too weak to do anything but gingerly hold her hand.  
She looked at him, somewhat hesitatingly, wondering what he had in mind. He took a labored breath, “Betty, listen, I do mean it, I…”  
She pulled away for a second, as if he had downloaded his thoughts directly to her from his. “You KNEW, didn’t you, Daniel? You knew this was coming?   
All these years, the partying, the drinking, the women, you knew you had inherited your father’s funky heart and you were TRYING to just live it up, because you suspected you didn’t have that long, is that it?” She dropped his hand, in shock, trying to process the implications of her epiphany.  
He nodded, “Well, it’s not like I had a specific warranty that said, your ‘funky heart’, that you inherited from your old man will expire on a certain date. But, yeah, he told me a long time ago what I had and how I had to be careful, blah, blah, blah.   
He didn’t live by that himself all that much, though. I mean, he watched his diet and didn’t hit the booze like Mom or me, he exercised, took his meds and all, but the stress…is what did him in, I guess.   
I didn’t expect to make it to forty, though, so…I figured I might as well have fun while I’m here, you know? Then I met you, Betty. And I wanted to live, I started taking care of myself, stopped the partying, all that.   
Actually talked to my doctors once in a while. They still didn’t give me any guarantees, though. Why do you think I never liked hospitals, or doctors? Didn’t you think it was weird that I checked into a hotel instead of a hospital?”  
“Sure, but, I just thought you were eccentric or something. You’re afraid of needles, too…Oh… because…but your mom didn’t know? How is that possible?”  
He shrugged, “I think she did, really. She just didn’t want to admit it to herself. Why do you think the poor woman drank herself into oblivion, Betty? She had a husband with a serious heart condition that insisted on cheating on her, a son with a death sentence on his head and the other one who wasn’t happy being her son, so he pretended to die!   
Alexis doesn’t know, by the way. Well, I’m sure she suspected it, too, like Mom. But, I never told her, either. It was one of the few secrets my dad and I ever had between us.   
He had so many secrets from all of us, what was one more to him, I guess. I think maybe it’s one of the reasons he sort of tried to love me less. That way, it wouldn’t hurt so much if he lost me before he died, you know?”  
“Oh, Daniel! That explains so much! Why you acted like you didn’t care sometimes. I’m so sorry you had that hanging over your head all this time! I’m sorry I was so hard on you.” She looked at him, sympathetically.  
He pulled away, “I’m not. Cut it out. See, that look, Betty. Right there, that poor little Daniel look. That’s the reason I never said anything to anyone. Besides, the doctors don’t know as much as they think they do.”  
He took her hand, looking down at it, “But you made me care. I didn’t before I met you. Nothing in my sick, twisted, sorry excuse for a life ever mattered until you came crashing into it, Betty.”  
She smiled, but got him some water, and told him maybe she needed to leave, let him get his rest. He agreed, finally, but he told her to come closer,   
“Betty, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to love you. I don’t want you to love me. You deserve so much better. You deserve better than Henry, better than Matt, better than me. You are the only person other than my mom who knows what a jerk I can be and still cares about me. But, I want you to go find a man who is worthy of you after I’m gone, okay? Promise me, you’ll do that for me? I need to know…”   
She shook her head and put her hand over his mouth, then leaned down, to kiss him warmly. As she pulled away, she whispered, “Shut up, Daniel. Just shut up, will you? You aren’t going anywhere, okay? I don’t want anybody else. Besides, like I could find anybody better than you!”  
He grinned, “You do have a point.”   
She squeezed his hand again, and kissed his forehead, whispering, “Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
He nodded, “Hey, Betty?”  
She turned back at the door, “Yes?”  
“Thanks for telling me. When you talk to your sister, tell her that speech she made sort of got me thinking about you, about us. That’s when I knew for sure. That’s when it hit me. It was so obvious. I’m in love with you. I can’t live without you. Of course I can’t…”  
She rushed back to his bed, kissing him again, making him smile. She said, breathlessly, “Am I going to have to keep doing this to shut you up? What you said just now was beautiful. Don’t mess it up. You talk too much sometimes. You need your rest now, Daniel. I love you.”  
She kissed him again, and this time, he started to kiss her back, but pulled away, with a smirk, “Hey, cut it out, you’ll make my heart monitor freak out, Betty!”  
She left, smiling at him, and breathing deep, even breaths until the minute she got onto the elevators, where she broke down.


	3. Chapter 3: Hold On (All We’ve Got is Time)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hold On (Michael Buble) edited   
> Didn't they always say we were the lucky ones.  
> I guess that we were once, babe, we were once,  
> but luck will leave you cursed, it is a faithless friend,  
> and in the end, when life has got you down,  
> you've got someone here that you can wrap your arms around.
> 
> So hold on to me tight,  
> hold on to me tonight.  
> We are stronger here together,  
> than we could ever be alone.  
> So hold on to me,  
> don't you ever let me go.
> 
> Cuz it's you and me together,  
> and baby all we've got is time.  
> So hold on to me,  
> hold on to me tonight.
> 
> There's so many dreams that we have given up.  
> Take a look at all we've got,  
> and with this kind of love,  
> and what we've got here is enough.
> 
> Just hold on to me,  
> don't you ever let me go.  
> Hold on to me, it's gonna be alright.  
> Hold on to me tonight.

After several heart-wrenching months of back and forth in the hospital, Betty found her time with Daniel precious. They tried to stay positive, and talk only about the past or present, or immediate future, nothing too specific or concrete that involved thinking too far ahead. 

In many respects, she felt just like she had when she and Henry knew they only had a few short months before he had to leave New York for Tucson. 

This was much more difficult territory to navigate, however. They did talk about ‘their future together’, but it was almost always done with a bit of sad irony, as if it was their own inside joke that they knew might never happen. 

For Daniel, he had his reference when he had decided to marry Molly, knowing she had terminal cancer. When he tried to tell Molly about his heart condition and its possible implications, she had laughed, saying they made the perfect couple. 

He never got the chance to ‘warn’ Sofia. She broke his heart before he got a chance to tell her it was already damaged.  
He and Betty lived on ‘borrowed time’, but that made the time all the more precious. They loved in the moment and their time together was always tender and intimate.  
Claire and Betty had tried to ‘fix up’ Daniel’s loft for him to return to when he had recovered enough to be at least temporarily released from the hospital. 

They both understood this was just a temporary reprieve; they had been warned, that his condition would only get worse eventually and he would need a transplant to survive.

But he tried his best to pretend that wasn’t the case, and Betty and Claire went along with him. Betty accompanied him home and saw his smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes as he teased her about sleeping with him.

She squeezed his hand, “Daniel, I don’t know about that, honey. I mean what if…”

He looked at her, “I asked the doctor. And he said the old ticker can handle it for now, Betty. I may not have a long time where it can. But...I’ve got at least a month or two left in me. I know it’s a lot to ask, but, I feel like we wasted so much time already. I don’t know why I never just told you how I felt. Or maybe if I had listened to you sooner…”

Betty blinked back the threatening tears, “Daniel, stop. It’s okay. I understand. You were trying to protect me from falling in love with you. I was, too. But for a completely different reason. I thought you were this playboy who could only ever love...I don’t know models and beautiful women. 

I just didn’t see you ever falling for someone like me. So I told myself you were always going to be out of my league. Look, but don’t touch, you know? I could be your friend, but that’s all we’d ever be. I never dreamed you’d actually love me.”

He placed his hands gently on her face, looking into her eyes, “Oh, Betty, honey. Don’t you know? You ARE a beautiful woman. And I think I told you once before, you’re far better than any model. I meant that. And I do love you. But if you’re afraid, I...get it. I know I’m damaged goods. I don’t want you to end up getting hurt. Now I really do understand how Molly must have felt, not wanting me to suffer after she…”

Betty kissed him suddenly and intensely. When they parted, she looked at him, almost angrily, “I don’t want to hear that word. You’re not going anywhere, Daniel Meade. I love you. You’re going to get that translpant, and we’re going to get married and have lots of babies.”

He raised his eyebrows, “Whoa, I don’t know about getting married, Betty. I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of commitment yet!” He teased.

She rolled her eyes and kissed him again, “Shut up, Daniel. You’re not getting out of this. You told me you love me. So, prove it! As soon as you get your transplant, you’re going to marry me, Mister. No getting out of it now.”

He smiled, and touched her face tenderly, “I love you, Betty. No matter what happens, you’ve got to know how much you’ve meant to me. You made me want to live. You made me want to get better, to be a better person. Before you came along, I didn’t really care if I lived or died. My life had no meaning. 

I lived in the moment. But now...now I’m stupid enough to have hope, to WANT to marry you and have babies with you and all that stuff I just thought I’d never be around to have, so I told myself it didn’t matter. So it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

She looked at his face. He had been through so much pain, so much well...for want of a better word, heartache. Betty held him close and tried hard to fight the tears. He had told her they had to just pretend everything was fine. If she wanted to be with him, those were the rules, and she agreed. She threw away her planner, and her post it notes. Daniel needed her to simply be there for him, to share his life right now, since that was all he had and possibly all he might ever have.

She whispered, “I love you, too, Daniel. I always have and I always will. You’re so...wonderful. I…” She didn’t want to cry, so she closed her eyes for a moment, then smiled as she opened them and reached out to touch his face, staring into those startling blue eyes of his.

Her breath hitched as she took his hand and led him into the bedroom. He raised his eyebrows and looked at her, hesitantly, “Are you...sure, Betty? You’re the one who’ll be left behind. You know how much I went through when I lost Molly. Are you sure you want to take a chance? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I really want you right now, but I don’t want to hurt you, either.”

She teased, “Trying to get out of this, Daniel?” 

She took off his shirt, then his pants, and as she began taking off her own top, and stood in her bra and panties, he reached out his hand and put it on her breast, his eyes wide, “God, you’re beautiful, Betty. Be gentle with me.” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes, then grabbed his hand to have him follow her and locked eyes with him as she slid onto the bed. He watched, mesmerized as she unfastened her bra slowly. She felt shy, but told herself to be bold. 

Daniel swallowed, his eyes wide with wonder, “Wow! I…”

She reached out for him, “Shut up and kiss me, Daniel.”

He smiled and nodded as he crawled across the bed to her, “Yes, ma’am. Whatever you say, boss!”

They made love tenderly and intensely over the next few weeks, each time as if it was their last time together, both of them thinking it just might be. 

Less than a month later, as Betty was on her way back to Daniel after a brief visit to Queens, she stopped in her tracks, seeing an ambulance there, bringing Daniel out in a stretcher. 

He had gotten to the point they both dreaded, they both refused to talk about. They were told now, it was only a matter of time.

She tried to stay camped out at his side once he went back into intensive care, and his name shot to the top of the list for recipients. But he told her to get out once in a while, go see her family. Claire agreed, and told her softly, “I’ll stay with him, Betty. But Daniel’s right. 

You need a break. Go see your family. I’ll let you know if there’s...any change.” She put her hand on Betty’s, and Betty nodded, hugging Claire tightly, wishing she knew what to say to help the woman she looked on as a mother deal with the pain of knowing her son was dying.

So, the next morning, when Betty was in Queens, visiting her family, and she got the call, she knew, this could be the end. It broke her own heart to think she might never see Daniel’s blue eyes looking at her again, telling her how much he loved her.

After several weeks, of his health continuing to deteriorate, Betty couldn’t stand it any longer. She determined to do what she had promised Daniel she wouldn’t; she and Claire tried to get him put at the top of the donor list.

He had made her promise she and his family wouldn’t use their money in that way, but Betty was desperate. She didn’t care if it was unfair, she couldn’t just watch him die and do nothing.

She came home, defeated after another visit, seeing his health and strength go downhill, when Justin greeted her with a hug. “Hey, AB. How’s Daniel?”

“The same.” She responded sadly.

“Did you hear what happened to Matt?”

“Matt Hartley?”

“Yeah. It was on the news earlier. He was hit by a car while he was here for the holidays. They said he’s in critical condition.”

“Oh my God! I...should I contact his parents?”

“I guess.”

After several phone calls, she managed to get through to Cal Hartley, who asked her to come see him at the hospital where Matt was in intensive care.

She met him and he greeted her with a determined look on his face. She hugged the man who she had thought at one time might become her father-in-law. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Hartley. How is he? What happened?”

 

Cal shook his head sadly, “He...was here, visiting his mother and I for Christmas, and he was hit by a drunk driver, crossing the street. They’re telling us there’s no hope.”

Betty put her hand to her mouth, her eyes full, “Oh my God! That’s so...terrible! Mr. Hartley...I’m so sorry!” She put her hand on his. He looked at her, and handed her a letter.

“You should see this, Betty. I printed this this morning. Matt was always a nervous flyer. He emailed this to me before he left Africa.”

She read, “Mom and Dad, I love you. I need to tell you that. I know we haven’t always gotten along, and you two weren’t able to work things out. 

I know you blamed Betty for inspiring me to go to Africa, Mom. I think you both envisioned me as following in Dad’s footsteps, and taking over all his business interests. 

But how could I possibly measure up to Dad? He’s done so much and made such a name for himself. That’s partially why I could never decide what to do with my life. 

Dad, please don’t think I’m blaming you for my indecision. Quite the opposite. I’m extremely proud to be your son and I feel badly that I’ve struggled to ‘find myself’ till now.

That’s where Betty came in. I know she’s probably moved on and I can’t blame her, but I’ll always love her. And I’ll always be grateful to her for showing me that I could do something with my life that made a difference. 

I’ve been so happy since I came here and have felt like my life finally has meaning. I know, I’m just being a nervous flyer here, but I really need you to know, I found happiness; I finally found my purpose in life. Betty gave me that.’

After reading the letter, Betty sobbed into Cal’s arms. He cried with her, but smiled, “Do you want to come say goodbye to him? We...his mother can’t do it, but he actually had a DNR, so I am going to make the decision to honor my son’s wishes and take him off life support tomorrow. It’s what he wanted.”

After going in with Cal to say her goodbyes to Matt, as Betty came back out to the hall, she looked at Cal Hartley, “Mr. Hartley? Can I ask you a crazy question?”

 

“Of course, Betty.”

 

“What blood type is Matt?” 

The next day was Christmas. Betty went to Claire and spoke to her quietly, then went in to Daniel’s room.

He looked pale and ashen, but smiled as soon as he saw her, “So, where were you? Out shopping for me? I left your present with your dad again, because I knew I might get...busy with the Christmas rush and everything.”

 

She came and put her hand on his, smiling, “Actually, I’ve been talking to the doctors. I think I have the perfect gift for the man who has everything.”

 

He smirked, “Here? Now? Uh...as much as the spirit is willing, baby, I think the...um...flesh might be a little weak right now. Rain check, though? Although it might just be my spirit after all at this point.”

She bit back her lip and squeezed his hand tightly, and kissed it, “Stop it, Daniel! No talking like that! Believe it or not, what I meant was...how would you feel about getting a new heart for Christmas?”


	4. Chapter 4: I ache for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Last chapter, folks! We start with Betty’s POV. The title refers to the best line from the movie I drew inspiration from for this story.   
> Happy Birthday, John! 12-12-12. I miss your blue eyes.
> 
> So this is Christmas, and what have you done?   
>  Another year over, and a new one just begun.

Christmas last year was full of miracles for Daniel and me. After my mother died, I have to say, I stopped believing in them for a long time. I still managed to be a pretty positive person, all things considered.   
The fact that my ex-boyfriend, Matt Hartley happened to be a match for Daniel’s heart was certainly nothing short of a miracle.   
I loved Matt once, too, and losing him was no easy thing for me, even knowing it might save Daniel. When I had to talk to his father, I felt like a vulture, like a thief, a grave robber.   
The man’s son was dying and there I was, asking him if I could steal Matt’s heart for my new boyfriend? A man Cal never even got along with, because of his affair with Daniel’s mother. I fully expected him to have me thrown out. His ex-wife certainly tried.  
But miraculously, he didn’t. His own son’s words had softened his heart. I’ll forever be grateful to Matt that he had the thought to send off that email before he got on the plane to come home for Christmas.   
It saved Daniel’s life, I’m sure. Sometimes it’s the little things we do that make a huge impact later on. You just never know.  
Daniel’s transplant was successful, another miracle. As soon as he was able to travel, we moved him to France, partially to get away from the press. Word had leaked out about Matt being Daniel’s heart donor.   
Claire strongly suspected Victoria herself may have ‘leaked’ the story of Matt and me once being a couple, and Daniel, now my fiancé, getting his heart, as well as Claire and Cal’s past affair.   
Like Claire, I didn’t really care what they said about me. We just didn’t want to let Daniel know yet, and have reporters shove microphones at him, asking him how he felt, knowing he had the heart of his new fiancées ex, now beating in his chest.  
Staying with Alexis seemed strange and uncomfortable at first. Daniel hadn’t really talked to his sister much, after she left, and there was the business with DJ, of course.   
She and I had our own overcoming to do, since she had basically tried to murder my best friend while she was pregnant, and let Daniel get arrested for it.   
But little by little, wounds healed for all of us. Claire stayed for the first six weeks in one of the guest rooms at Alexis’ beautiful beach home in Provence. I think Claire was enjoying getting to ‘take care’ of her family.   
She had a dietician come and give us all private cooking lessons, showing us how to prepare foods on Daniel’s diet in a way that was palatable.   
We all pretended to be Julia Child and had a blast imitating her. Very unsuccessfully as far as the cooking part went, unfortunately. But we got a little better, at least.   
Alexis and I started warming up to one another, over almost burning down her kitchen on more than one occasion.  
Daniel and Alexis teased each other, and although we were all quite comfortable together, Daniel seemed anxious. And it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out he wanted us to have privacy.   
I knew his cardiologist had told him (you just know he asked again…of course!), as soon as he could climb at least two flights of stairs comfortably, he was ready to have sex again.   
It shook me a bit when he decided to take up painting, suddenly. And I swore…he said, “miss you much” one time and I almost fainted!   
When I told Alexis about it though, she just laughed at me, and said I was like the guy in the Poe story; convincing myself I could hear the beating heart, convicting me of ‘stealing’ Matt’s heart for Daniel.  
We decided on a Christmas wedding, since that’s when Daniel got his new heart, we thought it fitting.  
He said he wanted to be strong enough to carry me over the threshold. I think he also remembered his little ‘joke’ to me that he wanted to ‘test drive’ the new model with lots of sex first, before we tied the knot.  
One morning, at breakfast, Alexis grinned somewhat slyly at DJ and made a face at Daniel, “Geez, Danny, if you’re going to play footsy under the table, next time make sure it’s Betty and not me! And FYI, you might want to clip those talon claws you call toenails. I think you broke my skin with those things!”  
He looked under the table, to see his foot was indeed, cozying up to my leg, not hers.   
She laughed. He shot her a dirty look, “You’re full of it, Al-EX, I didn’t touch your Amazon legs. I wouldn’t want to get hair all over me.”  
“Ha, ha, made you look!”  
“You…freaking giraffe!”  
“Frankenstein!”  
“Gorilla woman!”  
Betty knew they were only ‘teasing’ each other, but felt way too much like ‘mom’ in this little scenario, so she sighed, and got up, “I’m going to take a walk on the beach!”  
Daniel grinned like a schoolboy and grabbed her hand.  
“Come on, I’ve got a surprise for you, Betty.” He led her, panting from the way he was walking so fast, her short legs could hardly keep up. “Daniel, slow down! What’s the hurry?”  
“You’ll see. Hurry up!” He practically dragged her along for almost half an hour. Finally, she saw the house he had been talking about, one she had often admired from the beach on their walks.   
There were gorgeous views of the ocean on a hill, like Alexis’ home. The infinity pool and stairs she had were a great work out for Daniel recovering. But it was missing the warmth of a bit more traditional house.   
He had noticed Betty’s reaction to it, so had contacted a local realtor and found it had been put up for sale a few months ago.   
“It’s ours. And…here’s the kicker, Betty. Even though this one is a lot ‘homier’ than Alexis’ place like you like, it has a pool and stairs, too. So, I’ve been coming here on my own, practicing.   
And…check out what yours truly can do, babe.” She could sense his pride and excitement, as he easily bounded up the steps, taking two at a time here and there.   
She watched him, in awe, trying to suppress her tears, knowing how hard he must have been working, well beyond what he had let me see with his physical therapy.   
“Hell, I don’t know whose heart I got, but I’m wondering if it was an athlete or something, Betty, because I feel like I have more strength than I ever had as a teenager! Like I could run a marathon, maybe.   
I feel really good, and strong; strong enough to take care of you, now. Do you want to come see our new beach house? We can live wherever you want long term; back in New York, here, Paris, London, Rome, anywhere, Betty. The sky’s the limit!   
I was thinking, that until the wedding, we could stay here, in our little beach house; get tan, swim, go check out the village, you could visit Christina, then my mom can help you and Alexis with the wedding plans when she gets back.   
And, oh, yeah, we could do that making love all day thing you promised me, remember?   
I’m so happy right now. I actually stopped taking those anti-depressants. I don’t need them. What have I got to feel sad about? I’m a new man; I’m in love with the best woman in the world! And she loves me.  
Besides, those things were kind of freaking me out. I was having really crazy dreams about punching Matt Hartley, of all things!” he laughed, but Betty got a strange look on her face and he furrowed his brow.  
“Betty, what’s wrong? Honey, aren’t you thrilled? You uh…do know what this means, right? I’m strong enough for all kinds of fun stuff now. Hell, the way I feel, I could probably race you down the beach, and still have great sex. I feel so alive!”  
Betty wanted nothing more than to just enjoy this moment with Daniel. She didn’t want to ruin it. He had worked so hard for this and he deserved it.   
But she worried that if she ‘went along’ with things without telling him the truth, he might resent it later and she felt he needed to know, especially since, thanks to Victoria, the cat was definitely out of the bag back in New York.  
“Daniel, sit down for a minute. There’s something I need to tell you.” They sat down on the steps.  
“Geez, Betty, what’s up? I know you can’t be pregnant, or, wait, I guess you could be… Is that it? That’s great! Honey, I’m so…”  
“No! Daniel, I’m not…I’m sorry, I’m not pregnant. That’s not what this is about. The thing is…the thing is…oh, God, I don’t know how to say this exactly.”  
She took his hands in hers, “When you were in the hospital last December, and things were not looking good, Matt Hartley had come back to New York to visit his parents.   
A drunk driver hit him as he was crossing the street and he never regained consciousness. He was put on life support. Then…”  
Daniel stood up dropping her hands, and shook his head, as if he didn’t want to actually hear the words leave her lips, “Stop! You can’t be serious, Betty! Matt Hartley is dead? Why the hell didn’t somebody tell me? Why didn’t YOU tell me? You mean to say…I have HIS heart in me?   
THAT’S who my donor was? Your ex-boyfriend? The same guy that I punched? Jesus Christ! His parents…agreed to this? Knowing it was me? What did you promise them, Betty? Your soul? Our firstborn son?   
I think I’m gonna throw up! Shit! This is…this is…I need some time to think about this.” He was breathing deeply, trying to process the news she had just told him.   
She tried to fight the onslaught of tears, “Daniel …Matt was already gone. There was no bringing him back. He was a match; he had listed himself as a donor. There really was no question. You would have died, too, otherwise!”  
He nodded, then closed his eyes, “I know, Betty. I get it. But I…need time to process this. Can you just…let me have some time, please? I need to be alone right now.”   
She walked back to Alexis’ house, where she tearfully told her future sister-in-law what had happened.  
Daniel wasn’t answering his cell phone. Betty didn’t know what to do. She cried, then paced, then, after not hearing anything from him in a few hours, she said,   
“I have to try and make him understand, it was the only thing we could do. It was what Matt would have wanted, too. I’m sure of it. They might not have gotten along, but Matt wouldn’t have wanted to let Daniel die for no reason, if he could save him. I know it!”  
While Alexis was comforting Betty, DJ slipped out and ran down to the beach house. He knew about Daniel’s surprise for Betty. He also, of course, knew about Matt’s ‘ultimate gift’ to Daniel.   
DJ found Daniel, inside the new home he had bought for himself and Betty, splashing his face, trying to come to terms with this new reality he faced. He had the heart of another man Betty had once loved.  
A man whose father he hated and he thought hated him. So, the fact that he knew Cal must have agreed to allow his son’s heart to be used to save him had Daniel puzzled. Hell, he thought Cal acted like an arrogant ass when he had saved Meade Publications from going under financially; this made that seem like nothing.   
He owed the guy his life, now! A man he had vowed he never wanted to see again. Was he supposed to change how he felt, now, be all chummy with the guy; pretend to replace his dead son?   
Of course, he didn’t blame Betty. He knew this must have been extremely hard on her all this time, keeping it from him. He couldn’t imagine what she must have had to go through to beg Cal to help him in the first place, either.  
DJ tried to talk to Daniel, to help him see how much everyone loved him, how much they had all wanted to tell him sooner, but wanted to make sure he could handle it. “I know, DJ. I get that. You’ve got to understand, though. This is…just really hard to deal with. I can’t help but think, what if, you know?   
Matt died and I’m alive. But what if he hadn’t had the accident? I would have died, instead, and he would be back in New York. They never really broke up. So, would they have gotten back together?”   
DJ shook his head, “But, that is not what happened, Daniel! You must deal with what is. This does no one any good!   
Do you not think Betty has said to herself, what if Molly had not had cancer? You would still be married to her, and you and Betty would never have been together, no?  
It is the same. Yes, she and Matt once loved each other. But he left her behind. She moved on. She fell in love with you.   
Maybe that same heart that now beats strongly within you was always meant to be with her?”  
Daniel nodded, understanding the truth of his nephew’s words, but still too upset to think clearly.   
“I know you’re right, DJ. I just need…time. Tell Betty I love her. I don’t want to hurt her, thinking of him every time she looks at me and knowing that the only reason I’m alive is because he died.”  
Finally, Claire got a call, a few days later, “Daniel, I’m here in France, at your sisters. Where are you? Betty is frantic. We all are, dear. Please come back. We all love you.   
What does it matter whether the heart you have is from a stranger or not?   
Matt died. It’s sad, but it’s a fact. Your dying too wouldn’t have brought him back. If anything, your recovery is a way for him to live on.”  
“I know, Mom. That’s just it. If I can’t even look at myself now, without thinking about him, so how can I expect Betty to not be constantly reminded? It’s not fair to her.   
But, I didn’t want you guys to worry about me. I had my med prescriptions renewed. I’m watching my diet. I’m in Rome. I took the train. I’ll call Betty in a few days. Tell her I love her.”  
“Tell her yourself, Daniel. Don’t be ridiculous! Daniel?... He hung up! He said he’s in Rome.”  
Alexis looked at her mother, “Do you think he’s in that little place we stayed at as kids, Mom? He always loved it there. It had a great view of the city. It was tiny, but he loved it when we all went there.”  
“I think you might be right.” She turned to Betty, “He said he doesn’t want to be a constant reminder to you of Matt’s death, because he’s alive. He’s just hurting and confused right now.”  
Betty nodded, “I know. Tell me where this place is. I’ll find him and talk to him. I know he just needs to hear it from me that it’s him I’ve always loved.”  
Claire gave her the address and the next afternoon, she found Daniel on the roof of the little villa his parents used to take him and Alex to as children.   
He was painting. He turned, as the setting sun got in his eyes, and he heard a familiar voice,   
“I’d better not find scary looking paintings of me like Matt did when we broke up and he got mad at me!”  
“How’d you find me? Alexis remembered this place?”  
She nodded, “I understand you thinking you want to be alone. But, you don’t get to run away from me, mister. From us. We’re a team, remember?”

“Betty, I don’t want to be this constant reminder of what you lost. What you could have had with him…”  
She shook her head, putting her hand over his mouth. “Oh, my God, Daniel, shut up, will you? I suppose part of me will always miss Matt, of course. I did think I loved him once, but I ache for YOU, Daniel.   
You’re the man I’m in love with, forever and always. You’re the one I dream of every night. The one I was always meant to be with. The one who I want to be the father of my children; who I want to grow old with.   
You shouldn’t walk away from love like that. It’s a precious gift. It doesn’t come along every day, you know. And I LOVE YOU, Daniel Meade. Nobody else. Now and forever, sweetheart.”  
She had moved her hand from his lips, and as she spoke, he grabbed them, and kissed them. He stood up, and smiled, then kissed her lips, slowly and sweetly.   
“I love you, too. Betty. I’m sorry I freaked out. I just got scared. I felt like I had stolen your love, along with his heart. Like I didn’t deserve any of it, you know?”  
“You didn’t steal anything, Daniel.”  
“That day when you punched Matt, part of me wished what he said was true.”  
He smirked slightly, “Yeah, me, too. I guess that’s really WHY I punched him. I was jealous of him. I’m sorry I took off, Betty. I love you so much, honey. I feel so lucky to have you love me. I promise, I’ll do whatever it takes to earn this life with you. So, are we okay?”  
She nodded, leaning her forehead on his, and taking a deep breath of gratitude that they were together, “Yes, we’re great! Uh, you might not like it when I tell you what I promised Cal, though…”  
He narrowed his eyes, “What did you promise him? I’m not dressing up in any damn bunny suit again, am I, Betty?”  
She laughed, “NO, but…how do you feel about naming our first son Matt when we have kids?”  
He shrugged, hugging her waist from behind and kissing her neck, “I can live with that, I guess. As long as I get to live with you. Besides, maybe we’ll get lucky and have all girls.”  
She laughed and saw the easel he had set up, “I admit, your sudden interest in painting has me a little freaked out, Daniel. What made you start appreciating art?”  
He shrugged, “It was something the therapist suggested I should try. I’m not any good, though. I really suck at it.”  
She shielded her eyes from the setting orange glow of the sun and looked at the painting he had been working on. “Oh, my God…Daniel, I’m sorry, honey, but you do suck!   
Please tell me that’s not supposed to be me? Are those my…boobs? And what is THAT?” He laughed, as he took her hand and led her inside from the veranda to the bedroom, “Let me show you, sweetheart!”

Two months later….  
So, here it is, Christmas time again. I’m nervous as hell, sweating in this damn Santa suit! But it’s worth it. Betty thought it would be cute. She said something about sitting on my lap, and I just sort of found myself nodding and agreeing with whatever she asked. 

I know Cal’s here, so I wondered if he put her up to it. That’s okay. I’d hop down the aisle in that damn bunny suit again as long as Betty marries me.   
I can’t believe I get to marry my best friend. Seeing her smile was what got me through the bad times, what helped me through the healing process and what is helping me now to look forward to whatever is in store for us. 

Yep, here she comes...wow, look at that smile! Although, sometimes I almost miss the braces. But I figure I’m just about the luckiest man alive right now. Because I get to wake up to that smile every day for the rest of my life. And now, that actually means something. 

Whether it’s ten years or however long we both have, I’m going to treasure every second with Betty, like I should have all along. I’m not going to let one second go by without telling her how much I love her; without showing her how much her love healed me. She gave me the best Christmas present ever, her heart.


End file.
